How a Girl Can Gain Ground on the Rocky Roads: A Woman's Take on Off-Highway Adventuring

From outdoor buddies, then dating couple, to newlyweds and now a family of three, Mark and I have enjoyed 10 years of great traveling stories.

These days, I would call our style of multi-day, planned backroad trips 'adventurous, but not precarious.' Not as grand as our kid-free glory days of backpacking on the Inca trail in Peru, for sure, but we are still out there making fun memories. And without the Peruvian nightmare in our digestive tract at 3 AM- whew! As great as our off-highway drives and camping trips are now, one point I can't overlook is that fellow women adventurers can be sparse out here.

So, hello? Where are my girls at?

Four-Wheeling For Females? Yes, Yes . . . It Can Be Fun for Us Too

Whether because of the heavy emphasis on machines and, uh, dirt or maybe the division of tasks at home takes the fun out of vehicle travel for many moms (is it really a "vacation" if the kids are in the back seat?), it's men who typically excel in the off-road/4-wheelin'/rock-crawling domain. This creates a frightening "boy's club" of sorts that make the prevailing attitudes out on trails annoyingly macho. Heaven help our husbands, the helpful ones, that try to give any tips on driving, packing, or anything truck-related. I can think of a dozen moments where I felt inferior in the setting, so I immediately jumped into defensive mode and bickered a retort when Mark gave any sort of instruction. Enough of that defensive bull-crap: here are some proactive things we can do to boost our female egos and enjoy more of what it's all about. Traveling with our family in a way that works for ALL of us.

Ladies, if you want to enjoy yourself on the slower-paced days of rocky roads, you can, and should, learn to be comfortable using your vehicle and navigating. Even in the dirt. C'mon, if you're a mom you know how to navigate the aisles of Super Target (the big one!) while
1). avoiding the obstacles your kid(s) throws your way (missing croc, anyone?) and
2). planning the meals for the week in your head

You have the basic skills already. And you might find that you like off-road driving more than you realized.

A Woman Behind The Wheel Is Almost as Sexy as One Wearing a Bikini (Almost)

Late in the day, when the light's getting good for taking pictures, Mark abaondon's the driver seat and leaves that to Brooke. And she enjoys it. It's quieter without him in the truck anyway.
As for the guys' opinion: In our case, Mark loved hearing that I wanted to take a woman's recovery and off-highway driving class in our Nissan Frontier. It's sexy to a guy if his wife knows how to talk about recovery (insert winch jokes here) and spotting. And Mark's favorite part is that if he needs to jump out of the truck to snap a photograph in the perfect light, I can switch to driver and (usually) don't have any qualms about operating the truck. I still struggle, frankly, with the idea that I can drive just as often as Mark on harder roads. I don't have to wait until he needs a rest. It's just I feel like he's been doing it for longer, and I still have a lot more to learn.

after 10 years he's finally found it wiser to just grunt or grab the "oh-shit" handle if I goofWhich brings me to this...men, just because you are great at what you know how to do out on the dirt roads, that doesn't mean you KNOW HOW TO TEACH US what to do.

If you want your wife to enjoy being out on a four-wheel adventure with you, my advice is have her take a class or a mini-lesson with someone else instructing. Trust me, it comes across all wrong, even if you are telling her with the best intentions, when it's you from the passenger seat advising on how she should improve. (And this is not a quip at Mark here; after 10 years he's finally found it wiser to just grunt or grab the "oh-shit" handle above the dashboard if I goof. I can take the hint and I don't even have to hear the words.)

Spend a Day with a Classy Instructor Like Sarah Batten, and in a Classy Land Rover LR3

Sarah Batten - a fantastic teacher for women who want to learn skills for off-highway driving (photo courtesy of Chris Marzonie, chrismarzonie.com)
I had the opportunity this Spring to practice more finesse in my four-wheel driving skills as part of an all Women's class at the Overland Expo in Southern Arizona.

My passenger wasn't Mark this time, but Sarah Batten, a Lead Instructor at the Eastnor Castle Land Rover Experience in the UK - and we drove a gorgeous Land Rover LR3. Talk about inspiration, this teacher knew her stuff, and she taught us as peers, despite having had far more hard-core driving practice than all of our husbands combined. Before waiting for class to begin, we gathered up for a few instructions, and Sarah was mentioning that we would be on the pavement for a few miles of highway before turning off onto the side dirt road trail. At that point, she said, we'd stop and put the vehicles into 4-wheel drive.

One woman - let's call her Trish - raised her hand and asked Sarah if she would help put the vehicle in 4-low when the time came. "I never remember how to do that," she confessed.

Trish's husband, waiting around with us before the drive, actually rolled his eyes right there and smirked at Sarah, "I've told her how to do it about a hundred times."

"Well, that's the problem, isn't it?" Sarah said breezily. "You told her. You didn't teach her." Turning to Trish, she said with a kind smile, "That's what this class is all about. I will teach you how and after practicing today, you'll remember."

I wish I knew more Sarah Battens. My hour with her (in a Land Rover LR3, which didn't hurt) was a definite highlight of my Spring, and the way she turned around that macho put-down into a positive pick-up was priceless.

Links to Off-Highway Classes in Arizona Catering to Women

• Overland Expo- Southern Arizona, April 2011, check course listings for women's class offerings
• Sedona Jeep School- private lessons by owner and instructor Nena Barlow - she's another inspiring woman in this rugged domain
• More information at the AZ State Parks website. Tips, links, and information on land use and safety
• A good book to get is Jim Allen's Four-Wheeler's Bible