Choosing an Adventure Vehicle Part IV: Earthroamer Finally Makes a Family-Sized Expedition Camper
- Category: Dad's Dirt Roads: A Blog
- on Wed Mar 21, 2012
- by Mark Stephens on Wed Mar 21, 2012 - (8) Comments
My new camper is the Earthroamer XV-HD because I went nuts every time we packed for a trip. I'd bark at everybody, "Can we possibly pack any more craparoo?" So Earthroamer really sharpened their pencils and got to work on something that'd fit every last iPod and frisbee and pair of shoes that our family likes to bring on trips to the mountains. And then some. First, she's built on a Ford F650 and can get loaded to a GVW of 26,000 lbs. Any bigger and I'd need to study for a CDL. Second, she pulls 800 foot-pounds of torque on those 46-inch-tall, 18-inch-wide tires. Finally something big enough.
Oh, I've heard the jokes already.
"Hey, Stephens, I heard they just retired the Exxon Valdez. Didn't realize you're the one who bought it."
"What's the weather like in there?"
Yeah, really funny guys. Really. Funny. It's just a little hard to hear you from the inside of this one-piece molded camper body. This fine hardwood cabinetry sure does dampen your heckling, too. My goodness, it looks good. The kids can't even damage the counter tops, you know why? They're granite — the counters, not the kids. And we're stoked to be watching Disney Junior's Handy Manny on the 23" Vizio HDTV. So, whatevs.
But let me tell you, it's the California king bed really spoils us.
Got a nasty letter from the HOA today. "Dear Mr. Stephens. It is the obligation of the Board of Directors to ensure that each Homeowner in our Community is adhering to the Declaration of Covenants, Conditions and Restrictions (CCR’s) set forth in our Documents. Our Community is striving to continue to be a beautiful place in which to reside harmoniously with our neighbors . . ." Blah blah blah. You know where this is going. I gotta paint her to match my house.
The Earthroamer, yes, is very real. Because the XV-HD can come in any one of 52 cab/camper/bed combinations, from the puny 19.7 footer to the granddaddy 36.8 footer, the cost to get under the Jones's skin about their wimpy chromed-out Escalade with those sad little 7" DVD players in the headrests is going to be somewhere shy of crisp million.
Take it from me, it was totally worth it when I picked up the kids from school and the old man on duty made me use the bus lane.
This series, Choosing and Adventure Vehicle, is a whimsical, if not admiring, look at the four-wheeled contraptions any family has to choose from that helps get the clan from Point A to Point B. Always factual to the details of the vehicle, but also adorned with hyperbole and whimsy out of affection for the subject matter. See the other articles in this series: