Why Parenting Advice Sucks
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- by Mark Stephens on Mon Nov 15, 2010 - (6) Comments
What it's all about, smiles and laughs and good views. Those mountains are pretty cool, tool.
Here's something you don't know about me. I'm constantly thinking of ways to take our experiences, our trips, what I know about my wife, what I know about my own child, what I know about me and distill it all into cute, simple, five-point digestible tips that could sum it all up and expose the answers to how to get outside with your family, too. You know what? Despite the requests, I just can't do it.
I don't believe I should hold the beautiful idiosyncrasies that makes my family my family over water and heat until I expose the tangible, consumable parts. If there are any to be found. Here's the biggest problem of all. I've spent a lot of time reading up on the outdoor-family advice that exists out there, and you know what? It's all an utter waste of your time, really boring, or way too obvious. "Plan ahead down to the last detail!" "Go slow!" "Don't expect too much from your kids!" "Let your kids be kids!" "Your kids can handle more than you think!" And on and on. I conclude one thing: thanks for the fine advice, but what else you got?
My advice about taking your family outdoors? Pack your crap and go.
Sorry, I mean this: all you need is desire. My wife and I like to hike, climb, bike, paddle; we like to sweat outside in fresh air; we like cooking dinner over a campfire with a good view of perfect raw desert, or snow-capped Rocky Mountains, or a meadow near some bugling elk. Or a whispering river. Or an unforgettable middle-of-nowhere Mexican beach. Desire for those things. Beyond that, good reader, I'm just lost and trying to figure it out myself. So, what do you love? Then there you go; share that, show that.
Yes, some days I'd rather - much much rather - go on a hike on an obscure trail all by myself precisely for the solitude. Some days I'd really prefer to go rock climbing with my wife, just the two of us - the way it used to be a long time ago. What am I getting at? Well, yes, going on some outdoor adventure as a whole family is often a whopping royal pain in the ass with massive moments of overwhelming joy and gut-busting laughter mixed in at irregular intervals and at brutally early hours in the morning. So, hell yes, sometimes I'd rather not be toting a child, or more, around in the wilderness because it's so much easier without. There. Shit. I said it.
But I'll also say that going solo would be so less fulfilling. Brooke and I decided a long time ago that we'd continue to take cool back road trips and hikes and treks and other travels with our children - because she and I formed thousands of memories and our marriage doing these things.
So, that's why such advice sucks - this stuff is just too personal, only you know what your kids like, what your spouse likes (and dislikes). Only you. Fine, maybe you have a baby on the way and you're wondering how that'll affect your goals as an ultra-runner, or whatever. It's like this: I promised Ania, the foreign exchange student who's staying with us, that I would read Tolstoy's War and Peace. It's a book as thick as a brick and almost as heavy. It's going to take some dedication to get through it. Question for you: should I go google something like, "How to read really big books?" or just go sit down and read the thing?
Exactly.
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Does she?
"I promised Ania, the foreign exchange student who's staying with us, that I would read Tolstoy's War and Peace. It's a book as thick as a brick and almost as heavy."
You should have her read Atlas Shrugged in exchange
familyonbikes.org/blog/?p=1620
The golden rule of parenting is: as soon as you get it figured out, it changes. So...yeah, even if you could distill it all down into some snazzy points, you would wake up the next day and find it's moved along without you and you're going "whhhaaaaa???"
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