Photo of the Day: How To Mix Camping with Weddings
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- by Mark Stephens on Tue Apr 5, 2011 - Add comment
Camera: Canon 5D | Lens: EF24-105mm | Setting: f/4, 1/125, ISO 100
Are you looking at this scene and wondering what the heck is going on? Sure, the daisies and the Westfalia campervan go together. But red velvet cupcakes? What gives?
Oh, and I have all these voice mails and emails and Facebook messages and bricks-through-my-window and other forms of, uh, burning crosses from my buds who are rattling my cage for more details about my trip down the Mojave Road in the rain and snow, our spring break ride to Moab, and - of course - the skinny on what happened at the Overland Expo 2011.
Instead, I bring you this. A weird photo of a Westy and some cupcakes. Go ahead and say it: WTF?
This is just a much belated hat tip to our friends Gretchen and Jeff who recently tethered themselves to one another in holy ball-n-chain matrimony in a lovely mesquite grove at Agua Linda Farm in Amado, Arizona. When they learned we'd be road tripping up until the day of their nuptials, they told us, "Just camp at the farm after the wedding. A lot of our friends are doing that." Yeppers. And they're doing it in style, too.
Now that I've purged this from my system, rest assured I'll get back to the real business of AdventureParents.com shortly. When I figure out which mountain of work to climb next.
When people say, "Hey Mark, how's it goin'?" They have no idea what they're asking. Let me put a story to it. At the tail end of the wedding, the preacher guy was telling a few updates and other things the crowd ignored while my daughter, at a whole three years old, goes, "I NEED TO GO POTTY!"
To shuck all forms of tradition, she just shot down the aisle before the usual dismissal and I had to go after her. She saw me, stopped, turned, and yelled, "I can do it all by myself!" Yeah. Can you picture the whole disruption? Right there in the aisle in front of 100 people. So awesome.
She wanted to walk across the farm, through the garden, behind the house and into the guest bathroom without help. Normally that's fine. But I had my doubts that she remembered where to go. I tried, tried, to speak a little sense with her, "Hey, kid, I just want to make sure you can find it. You can use the bathroom by yourself. I don't mind. Just let me show you where it is."
"NNNNO." Little Miss Attitude.
Okay.
I watched her walk away. Yes, in the right direction. Oops, one wrong turn at the garden... no, okay, she made it through the gate. Good. Okay, she'll be fine from there.
I turned and waited. I counted to ten in my head and went to check on her. That's about the time I heard her scream, "PAPA!" and cry . . .
I jogged through the garden and around the corner and discovered she wasn't near the bathroom, as I could distinguish from her crying. Instead, she'd passed it and wandered to the front of the house. I discovered her standing in mud puddle of pee and dirt, she was holding her dress up and looking at the result. Crying and hollering for me as though I had abandoned her.
I took no pity. "What did you learn?"
"I DON'T KNOW!"
"You learned that you should let me help when I say so." What a hard-nose parent, huh?
I hugged her, told her we could go change her clothes and get all spiffied up again. So we walked. She continued to cry, but this time she held my hand as we walked to the truck. It was kind of sweet that she let me help her now.
And then - perfect timing. Jeff and Gretchen were strolling through the farm grounds hand-in-hand, their first moments alone together as a married unit. It had Lifetime movie written all over it. They walked under giant mesquites with fading sunlight behind them, giggled with each other, kissed a little, walked slowly, whispered sweet things to one another - exactly what you'd expect after getting married, right? But they were far away and didn't even see us. And then I realized we were on a collision course. Me and Chloe headed their way, Jeff and Gretchen headed ours.
Picture the conversation we had seconds later:
"Hi guys, um, congratulations. So happy for you," I said. If you know my daughter, you know she's a screamer. So you can imagine how well this came out with her bawling right there.
"Thanks Mark. What happened here?"
"Oh, she peed on the ground at your wedding because she couldn't find the bathroom." Why coat it with sugar, right?
Moral: if you ask me how it's going, let me tell you: this is how it's going these days.
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